#MotivationMonday - Saying Yes (The Most Powerful Word) - EvanLaird.com

Yes. Literally the most powerful word in the English language. Not only for sales, marketing, human phycology, happiness, but also for your own life and experiences.

First let’s look into when it comes to sales, business, and getting people to do what you desire.

The Importance of getting people to YES

Let’s look at this logically, the first yes is always the toughest.

When someone says yes to you the first time, it may take them a while to get there.

Getting that girl to say yes to a first date may take some time, cute conversation, and some flowers. Getting that potential client to sign the contract may take doing some free work, showing case studies, and negotiation on the phone.

But once that first yes is achieved, things just got a whole lot easier.

The word yes works like the Benjamin Franklin effect. This basically states that when someone does a favor for you once, they are ten times more likely to perform another favor (even a much harder favor).

And saying yes is the same way.

Studies have found that after the first initial yes the individual is over 70% more likely to say yes again.

Now I won’t go into the psychology behind it and dive deep into how to get that, yes, but I wanted to at least pinpoint the fact on how important getting to yes is!

This is the exact reason why there is something called a sales funnel.

Basic Sales Funnel – Getting More Yeses

In love, for instance, here is the “sales funnel” to get a few easy yes’s from the other individual and then it makes it much more likely to get further yes’s from them.

  1. You both swipe right on Tinder and matched – Boom, first yes.
  2. Do you want to go out for dinner or coffee? – Booya, second yes.
  3. Do you want to exclusively date each other? – Third, yes.
  4. Would you like to stay the night at my place? – Fourth, yes.
  5. Will you marry me? – Firth, yes.

And so on and so forth.

*Note – this is obviously a very simplified version of the funnel.

But do you see that the more yes’s you get from the other individual on smaller easier things that, it makes it more likely to get a yes on bigger questions or harder questions like marriage.

And if you skipped right to the first date or do you want to be my wife the moment, you meet them without the required yeses to get them there, I got a feeling success rate is going to be pretty low.

Sales Funnel and getting more yeses
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Yes In Marketing, Sales, and Business

The same goes for marketing, sales, or anything else where you are trying to persuade someone to take action. This is exactly why you see free downloads and coupons for getting an email address. It’s an easy first yes so then they can sell you some low-cost item (easy second yes) and continue to sell higher-cost items from there.

When you look at saying yes logically, the more yes’s you get, not only the more they agree with what you’re saying but the more committed they are to what you want as well.

Tip: If you want to get first yeses easy. Ask simple yes or no questions, that are no brainers or easy to say yes to. Such as “Am I correct?”, “Does that make sense?”, “Do you really want {insert goal}?”, etc.

Saying Yes For Your Own Personal Development and Experiences

Like mentioned, this isn’t a lecture on how to get persuade individuals to do what you’d like. But let’s focus on how to make your life better and increase your happiness by simply saying yes.

Saying Yes To Open Up A New World

Evan Laird Cliff Jumping
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(Me saying yes to a new adventure by cliff jumping in Dubrovnik, Croatia at sunset in my underwear.)

 

Yes keeps you open-minded, plain and simple.

Yes opens you up to new people, experiences, information, perspectives, and life.

The more of these, the more well-rounded of an individual you become. You start to see things in a new light, experience things you never would have imagined, and open yourself up to be vulnerable.

And vulnerability, when overcome, becomes growth.

As you say yes more the more you will grow as a person.

This can be growth in career by saying yes to that new project or job offer. This can be physically by saying yes to that group fitness class or hike. This can be with your family by saying yes to your son to play catch. Each allows you to grow in a certain aspect of your life.

The Yes Man Dilemma

Before we go any further, no you should not say yes to everything. (Pretty sure that’s the first time I said no in this article!)

No has its place in the English language as well and is almost as powerful.

Saying yes to everything can put you down a path that you may not desire. Saying yes to drugs isn’t going to get you farther in your career (usually). Saying yes to hours and hours of Netflix isn’t going to get you closer to your loved ones and so on.

What you need is a framework for saying yes or no, depending on your end goal. This is where goal setting comes into place but also where you look at what you enjoy.

If you haven’t read that article highly suggest you pop over and set some short and long term goals.

Time is your most valuable resource.

Time truly is your rarest and most valuable resource. It’s something you can’t get back no matter how much fame, money, friends, family, or love you have. And when you’re out of time, there’s no getting it back. You can’t trade anything for time except what you’re deciding to do right now in this current moment.

Which by the way, you’re reading this! In my mind, that’s a pretty good use of time (but you probably need to be the judge of that).

So now how can you decide how to best use your time for your own enjoyment and growth?

The Best and Easiest Decision-making Framework – Find Out What To Say Yes to and What to Pass On

Yes or No Decision
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This framework is simple and helps guide you based on your excitement and goals on what you should be saying yes to and what you should be saying no to.

This will then help you create the life you truly want. As it’s sole purpose is to cultivate more FUCK YESES and have you spend your time on those versus your maybes that you might be spending time on today.

As you continue to use this, more of those excited yeses will tend to come as you’ll end up spending more time doing things you love. So it has an exponential or compounding effect on your joy, happiness, and your life! So I’ve decided to name it the FUCK YES Framework.

The FUCK YES Framework

There is literally only 3 steps to the FUCK YES Framework. Yes, it’s that simple.

The Fuck Yes Framework
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Step 1 – Rate Your Excitement (With a Twist)

The first step when confronted with an idea, activity, meeting, or anything that forces you to make a yes, let’s do it, decision and a no, not doing it, decision is to rate your excitement. You may also factor in the opportunity cost of future events, activities, etc but no need to over complicate it.

So rate your excitement on a scale of 1 to 10.

10 = This is the greatest thing ever and there’s no doubt in your mind you want to do this.

1 = The worst thing ever and there’s no way in hell you would ever do this in a million years.

BUT, YOU CAN NOT RATE THIS ACTIVITY A 7.

Why Can’t You Rate an Activity a 7?

Seven is the arbitrary number we give anything that we are on the fence about. It’s good or okay but not great.

Think about it in the game of love or attractiveness. This isn’t meant to be superficial but we all know this is true. In the attractiveness of a possible mate, when you see a solid 7/10 what are you thinking? “Ehhh she’s cute, not beautiful but good looking.” But when you see an 8 or 9 out of 10, what’s your thoughts. “Oh hot damn, that girl was fine!”

We want your life and you want your life to be filled with 8, 9, or 10 experiences, friends, memories, not that lukewarm 7.

So to cop out of everything that you are just lukewarm about you can’t choose 7.

Step 2 – 8’s and Above, Do It! 6’s and Below, Pass!

Now, everything that you would put as a 7, which you’ll come to realize happens to be the majority of the activities that you do (I was the same way) you’ll have to move up to an 8 or down to a 6.

From there the decision-making process becomes so much easier!

8 and above – Do it! You’re clearly pretty excited to do it.

6 and below – Pass on it! It obviously doesn’t excite you enough.

Step 3 – Do That Activity and Enjoy It To The Fullest!

Evan Saying Yes To Climbing a Mountain
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Not only are you only doing activities that you are absolutely jazzed about, but it actually makes you more excited about the activity.

You’ll end up doing less but more meaningful and enjoyable activities as not too much are going to make it into the 8-10 rating. You’ve now hit a quality over quantity point.

What comes along with this is that whenever a new 8, 9, or 10 comes into play you’re even more excited about it as you went through the thought process and it came out a winner. So you’re never worried about is this the right thing to do or I wish I would have done something else because you are always excited about each and every activity that’s taking up your time, your most valuable resource.

When to Not Use the FUCK YES Framework

When not to use the framework - taking out the trash
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Now I know what you’re thinking. “Evan, I thought you said this could be used for EVERY decision?”

And yes it can! But there are times when the FUCK YES Framework may not give you optimal results.

The FUCK YES Framework shouldn’t be used in the everyday things that you NEED to do in order to live your life, make money, or in general be a good person.

This includes basic things like taking out the trash, doing your laundry, sending those tough emails, running an extra mile, or doing work for a client.

You may not be an 8 on taking out the trash, but this is something that should be done. Or you may not be an 8 about sending a tough email to your boss, but it needs to be done.

But just because it shouldn’t be used so granularly doesn’t mean it can’t be adapted to these scenarios.

Keeping Your FUCK YES Framework High-level

In these scenarios where it’s not adventure, activity, or experience-based you should use the FUCK YES Framework at a high-level view.

You can rate the high-level ideas behind each of these smaller decisions to see if it’s something you should continue to do, invest more time, or invest less time.

Let’s look at a couple of examples of this.

You may not be an 8 out of 10 on taking out the trash. But you’re probably an 8 out 10 of liking to live in a clean apartment. Or an 8 out of 10 of not liking to smell like crap. And if you’re not an 8 out of 10 on that, then maybe you can invest less time into this by having an apartment cleaner.

You may not be an 8 out of 10 on sending an email. But you can be at an 8 out of 10 on your job, company, or what you do for a living. If not, then it may be time to find a job listing or start that company that you are at least an 8 out of 10 on!

In essence, in every aspect of your life, you can create more excitement, growth, and enjoyment by following the FUCK YES Framework.

Conclusion

Yes is the most powerful word in the English language. Not only does it increase the likelihood of success through dating, business, marketing, and any industry and field. But it can also create a more joyful life for yourself by saying yes to new experiences that you actually want to do!

The simplest way to do that is to set up a decision-making framework like the FUCK YES framework that allows you to create more of the moments and pass on ones you really don’t want to do in three easy steps.

  1. Rate the activity on a scale from 1-10 and you can’t give it a 7.
  2. Anything 8 and above, do it! Anything 6 and below, skip it.
  3. Do that activity with full enjoyment knowing how excited you are for it.

This will then have a compound effect on your life creating more quality experiences day in and day out.

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